In Need of a Makeover

For once, I am taking an online course instead of teaching one. The class is on Marketing Your Services, something I know I need to work on if I want to continue freelance editing and writing from home.   

Yesterday, I risked accepting an offer from the instructor to critique my website. I have known for a long time that it needed more work than my son (who has been updating my site for several years) could manage, but I feared the long process and expense involved. Let’s face it, when life unravels, everything reflects it, including websites and blogs, and making up for lost time requires more than a quick spruce. Frankly, I was a bit embarrassed, kind of like when you let your house go for weeks on end then realize that company is due to arrive any minute and you can’t possibly get the place cleaned up in time. But I set my pride aside and accepted the critique as a valuable opportunity.

Sure enough, my website is in desperate need of a makeover. I’m sure my blog needs one, too. As expected, I need to learn some new things (like how to use Wordpress), spend a little money, and come up with a new look. I might even need to hire someone besides family to help bring me up-to-date. The idea of starting from scratch feels completely daunting and I have no idea where to begin, but I am incredibly excited!  

My website is one of many areas that have called for a makeover lately. I’m learning that after life unravels and everything from our clothing to our website screams, “I’ve been in an emotional coma for two years,” all you can really do is toss it all out and start over again. As scary and overwhelming and costly as makeovers can be, they are also refreshing, fun, and give us the lift we need to move forward. But how precious that, like this wonderful instructor, God doesn’t just say, “This is a mess; you need to change it.” He also offers to help us change. He points us toward resources, offers examples of what the right way looks like, and is available day or night for those moments when we have no idea where to start. Best of all, He immediately begins revealing the benefits of trading what is worn out but still hard to let go of for something new and fresh.

What area of your life needs a makeover? What exciting possibilities might await you if you take the risk?

“Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert” Isaiah 43:19 (NASB).

    

Peace

 

I knew my emotions were revved up because I had snooped into something that was none of my business, but the information still stung. Something that I’d sensed for a long time was made public, triggering a whirlwind of anger mixed with sadness mixed with a strange relief (Well, at least I don’t have to wonder anymore.), with resurrected wounds thrown in for extra drama.  

I ranted to a friend and asked her to pray. I went for a walk and asked God to calm my heart. I journaled, read my Bible, and came to the conclusion that, in the end, as difficult as it was to accept, it was better to know the truth. Maybe God intended for me to see what I did so I wouldn’t be blindsided later. I went to bed feeling peaceful. Yes, this information hurt, but God had taken care of me through the crisis of my life and He would continue to. This news wasn’t shocking, I just didn’t like it, and I was surrounded by support and prayer and a God who was on my side.

Then I went for another walk the next evening and felt another wave of sadness/righteous anger/resurrected pain. I had been fighting it all afternoon and couldn’t figure out what happened. God, I thought I had peace with this. Deep down, I did. So why the sadness? Why the whiney “I wish I had a friend to unload on right now?” Was I doing the giving-it-to-God-only-to-take-it-back-again thing? The answer came almost immediately.

No, not at all. A new thought came to me: Peace doesn’t mean you don’t feel pain; it means you trust God with the situation and know He is going to take care of you no matter what happens. You still feel peace, but what you discovered was upsetting. Maybe it’s just time to let God heal what it stirred up.

I’m not sure if the thought came from God or my own mind, but something about the idea that I was not required to be okay with something that shouldn’t be brought real peace—peace that stuck. God wasn’t asking me not to feel, only to continue trusting Him, which I did.

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you” Isaiah 26:3 (NIV).

Thank You, Father, for giving peace even as we sort out our human emotions. Help me to cling to it as You continue to heal wounds.

What has God been teaching you about peace lately?      

I Would Have Despaired

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” Psalm 27:13 (NASB).

I stumbled upon this verse the other night and realized that it could have been my theme for the past three years. I had a lot to despair about, and some days I wanted to. I’m sure that many who know me and knew all that was going on expected me to lose it one day. I have certainly despaired over a lot less. But this time, while watching so much of life literally fall apart, I didn’t, and at times that did not make sense at all.

I’m sure it was God’s grace.

I know it also came from a firm decision I made when I knew life had taken that, “Life will never be the same” turn that certain old ways of coping with stress were not options anymore, and that included giving in to hopelessness. No matter how much I was losing, I had two sons who needed someone to be the grown up—someone to get up in the morning, make dinner, buy groceries, earn an income, do the hard things, and listen when they talked, and I could not do that if I despaired.

But when I read this verse I wondered if there was even more to it—that something in me knew that I would eventually “see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” I had seen it before, and I was seeing it even more as we lost one security after another yet never went without food or clothes, transportation or a spot in school I couldn’t afford to pay for, fun or comfort. The life I hoped for and many things I didn’t sign up for were over, but I was seeing the goodness of the Lord and knew I would continue to.

I hope that the next time I have a reason to despair, or think I do, I will remember this verse and the years of loss that made it come alive. Life gives us so many reasons to want to give up, but God provides countless more reminders of His goodness.      

Do you have a reason to despair today? Or maybe you are just frustrated, worn out, or overwhelmed. Let this verse remind you that you will see the goodness of the Lord. Ask Him to show you the many ways that you have seen it already.